OH ,Toxic Masculinity.

Man up!Boys will be boys!Don’t cry! Do this words sound familiar to you?Oh yes they do ,this are words that are used almost daily by different individuals therefore they have to be familiar.In the recent past my country people brought up this slang term “gangster points”.You see most times this term is used,its often times when a man does something that is considered being against the exaggerated expectations of men.Okay let me make it more clear ;a man would cry and guess what they will say “Hey man , you are lowering your gangster points.I may have exagerrated abit of it but yes that’s my point of view you all.

After taking so much time weighing this two terms i actually came to an agreement that “gangster points” and “toxic masculinity” for some reasons relate therefore not making this discussion funny anymore.

On a serious note though,Toxic masculinity is a term that has been in existence,but it’s recently getting a modern touch.This term stems from the 1980’s by a movement known as Mythopoetic Men’s Movement that was founded by men for men to contrast some notions on masculinity that were in existence before and overtime were not compatible with the modern definition of Masculinity.

So many definitions of toxic masculinity exist but my idea of it evolves around the following factors;

• Surpression of emotions
• Lack of empathy
• Self-Sufficiency
• Sense of entitlement
• Dormination
• Virility
• Ignorance on topics sorrounding Sexual and Mental Health.

I find myself talking about this phase of masculinity now because of the increasing cases of incidents that have occured in most part of the world.Cases such as Sexual assault,domestic violence,psychological trauma,substance abuse ,just but to name a few are some of the triggers that pinned me down to write this post.Most of this cases are being perpetrated by the men thus making it obvious that toxic masculinity still exists in this present times.

I happened to link some theories that indicate that toxic masculinity plays a role in Sexual health which leads further to preventing some men from seeking out help for possible health issues as a result of unsafe sexual behaviours.For some,asking for help,seeking medical attention on cases such as Sexually Transmitted Diseases leads to feelings of weakness or inadequacy.Some men have this notion of them not being vulnerable to illnesses,this is crazy. This should not be the case,since in my opinion i feel such matters should be normalized and no one should feel inadequate or weak during such moments.

What defines masculinity in one society maybe be rejected by a different society this is because the definition of this term may take different forms.Masculinity itself is not toxic but the idea of  men to live to some exaggerated expectations to potray some percieved male traits is considered toxic.

The fact that masculinity is not something the society can instill in a person or take away from a person makes it an individual responsibility to define their own identity.It would be great if each and everyone aspires to find a healthy definition of their own individuality and puts effort in achieving it.

The world will be a better place if men decide to shift the term “toxic ” to “healthy” and this solely encompasses men being more open to share their emotions without surpressing them,them being more cooperative when it comes to making effort of properly seeking help in mental and sexual health.

Conforming to the society’s expectations of them acting some type of way that is detremental to their mental and sexual health ,will bring more harm than good.Empowering men and allowing them to express full range of emotions is one step to achieving healthy masculinity.

“By far the worst thing we do to males- by making them feel they have to be hard -Is that we leave them with very fragile egos”- Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie