EMPTY CUPS


The law of giving and receiving is quite overrated, I mean how many times have you not received after giving with so much effort?

Let us not dwell on the biblical part of this ‘ give and you shall receive’, let’s focus on real-life situations.

There instances when one feels so obligated to receive because you have given so much and when that does not happen, you beat yourself to it.

Have you been in a situation where you offer help to someone and next time when you are in need you find yourself seeking help from the same person you offered that help to?

Chances are maybe the person didn’t offer that help back,did you go about ranting on how ‘people are fake’ or you took a deeper look at that situation and concluded that maybe the person was not in a position to help?

Most times if not all, we are guilty of making negative judgements when what we offer is not well reciprocated, we maybe think we are used or being taken advantage of, right?

Maybe you offer so much love to people but not getting that equal love back? or you don’t seem to equally get the attention or help you need from people and you end up feeling used.

I’m learning to appreciate the fact that not everyone will be in a position to offer back what you give them because they may be lacking that which you are asking of them and that’s okay. ‘You can’t pour from an empty cup’.

(Hilda Neema,2021)

So the minute you learn to just appreciate the flow and turn out of events in your life the better you will become.

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20 vs 30

This is that time most of us are forging into the work environment, establishing meaningful relationships, raising a kid, and all this seems confusing because you seem not to have a plan. I’m here to remind you that it’s okay, you are a work in progress.

Weirdly enough, I’m anticipating becoming 30 something, I don’t care about all that my 30s would bring, the extra bulges, stretch marks, cellulite, not forgetting building a family and career, anything that scares a 20 something is all I’m looking forward to embracing in my years ahead.

Your 20s are a dress rehearsal for adulthood whereas your 30s are the real performance, meaning that as much as you are having a hard time now doesn’t guarantee that your 30s will be easy. The good thing is, you will experience a new set of challenges but with a clear perspective and attitude than when you are in your 20s. They bring a greater level of self-awareness.

In your 20s you feel the urge to keep a bunch of friends, to feel loved and accepted, but as years go by you start finding your right tribe, people who share the same ideas as yours, people who push you to be better and do better.

In all likelihood, your love life, a soup of devastating heartbreak, a bunch of entanglements here and there, careless decisions. I would call it a mess. You see that confusion is all part of the formative process of being an adult.

In summary, every outcome of your life no matter the age or stage all narrows down to the decisions and choices you make, the attitude you put in no matter what that stage has thrown at you.

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Never knew love like this

Love remains to be the strongest feeling that opposes fear ( love over fear right ?). Love shapes our lives, it guides our paths and put smiles on our faces. You don’t have to worry when you know you have people who genuinely love you because love constantly brings us to paths where weakness was drawn out and replenished with courage.

Love is waking up and fighting every single day with so much ease because the thought of giving up makes you weak. It’s being able to wipe those tears and reminding yourself of who you are.

Love is setting boundaries and sticking to them because when you break them, you break yourself. It’s more of attracting the respect and love you deserve.

Love is walking into that coffee shop alone and celebrating two love birds on their engagement.

Love is reminding yourself that you got time to figure out every missing piece of that puzzle without beating yourself over it.

Love is when your heart jumps when you see your special someone. The replays of their voice on your mind, the memories you make every single moment of your lives, and the moments of challenges that will break your bond. You see those moments, hold on to them, they will guide you and teach you. Love is that person…

Image From Pexels.com

Love is beautiful, sacred and the purest feeling you will ever encounter, and if the thoughts of hating yourself creep in, remind yourself that you are a diamond, imagine the value you have to offer?

I genuinely love you all.Sending You Flowers.XoXo

Survival tips for anyone on the go.

Greatness requires internal toughness, for only the strongest will prevail. The below tips have worked well for me. Maybe you could try applying one or two for your survival on this road called Life.

1.Learn to live without what you need.

We all have our needs, sometimes we want them so bad but can’t get them because of different circumstances. As much as it may be hard, you need to constantly remind yourself that you can live without them but this doesn’t limit you from really having them. You only need to be patient till the right time comes for you to have them.

2.Be content.

Trust me; I have mastered the art of being content with what I have. It may never be enough, but when you learn to appreciate whatever blessing comes your way, you will find life much better and more peaceful.

3.It’s okay to show your vulnerability

I am the type of person who would cry when hurt, like seriously cry. It feels so good when I do that, releasing my emotions unapologetically. I think it is okay not to be okay.

4.Please rest.

Life gets busy at times, so remember to always pause and reflect before moving forward. It’s so important. I understand you wanna get going, but is it not worth it if you look back and appreciate the journey?

5.Understand that no one has it all figured out.

I wake up every day wanting to be better and do better, but I keep in mind that I’m still a work in progress.

6.Keep learning.

Don’t underestimate the idea of you wanting to grow in all areas of your life. Allow yourself to be a student to the game. Remember, there will always be someone doing better than you or way above your level, so be humble, baby.

7.Pray. Pray.

I saved this for last because prayer has kept me going, there are days you will feel stuck and helpless, and no man will be in a position to calm your chaos but God. So don’t underestimate the power of prayer.

These tips have kept me going and trust me, they’ve worked for me.

Is that door closed?

Knock! Knock! Who’s there? Hil… Hil… who?? Hilda, the Digital marketer.
Recently, someone asked me where I’d want to see myself in a year, and my answer was plain simple, I see myself as a digital marketer.

Do I have that much experience? No. What makes you think you’d be one? So much can happen in a year, so why don’t I go all out for this if it’s what I am really interested in.

At times we limit ourselves, our dreams and goals because we think we are not ready or qualified, but in the real sense, you just need to show up and do the work for you to get there.

When you get out here, you realize you need to repackage yourself in so many ways; otherwise people will never take you seriously. It hurts when no one thinks you have something to offer, right?

Personally, I chose to show up for myself; I chose to knock on those doors all the time and not stop till I get a “hey, come in please,” hah!
These doors are not necessarily physical; they may be the people you admire and want to work with in your area of interests, they may be companies you feel connected to. They may or may not know who you are, but you choosing to knock on their doors will automatically bring you closer to them. Isn’t that amazing?

A few days back, a friend forwarded me an email, and this was not a business email or a gossip mail (you know girls and the tea😂); for me, it was quite an eye-opener. So my friend was telling me of how this person did a background check on her company for months and afterwards decided to reach out and pitch his unique value proposition to my friend. There was no job vacancy posted by my friend but trust me, what would have made my friend reject that offer if it’s something that would take the company to the next level?

Most times, we sit back and wait for people to call us, to offer us opportunities, whereas we can create these opportunities for ourselves if we know our value and what we can offer.

I’m becoming very intentional with what I set myself to do because my goal is to be productive and not just busy. Get that one area of interest and perfect it, then go all out for yourself, and you’ll realize that someone out there needs someone like you. That door might be closed but not when it comes to you.

The Greatest.

I love love,I love seeing people all happy and loving each other all nicely.They make life so beautiful I must admit.People hide the fact that they are hopeless romantics because they’ve grown under the impression that love should not be loud,that it should be tough ;But should it?

During last years Boxing day I witnessed some being fight between this old couple in my area,a couple with two kids throwing items and insults at each other wow.I’m trying my level best not to normalize this but isn’t this what love has been branded nowadays,that those in serious friendships and relationships should fight and box each other to prove that they are growing??

Image from Psychology Today

The lady packed her stuffs and left with the kids claiming to never come back,but alas! Few days later some of the neighbours gave her a grand entry back to her home lol😂.It was funny to be honest but at the same time not a surprise because the society has bred us to be takers.

We take everything thrown back at us,we take the hate,the love,the disrespect ,we take everything and for a minute that did not sit well with me.
I long for a world where there is mutuality in respect,love and every other beautiful thing the world offers because we all deserve that ,dont you deserve that?

PROGRESSION

Babies are amazing creatures,what amazes me the most is their development and progress.One time the baby is this tiny being, months later the baby is all grown.I love how their growth is usually noticeable, no matter what one still gets to see the growth in a baby.I tried analyzing some things that in one way or the other may contribute to the growth in babies .

The first thing is ; Most babies get that first-hand relationship with their mums,nothing else matters in a baby’s world if the mum is around.Second,a baby gets to experience a life free from distractions,in as much as the mum may have some problems,the baby literally never cares because in the first place that kid may not be aware of what may be going on in her surrounding.

Babies have this beautiful life to be honest and that’s why their development and growth is usually a fascinating experience for me.

Ps:Understanding this formula back in Uni sucked!!

Adulting is not a walk in the park! I mean look at everything you experience as an adult ,shitty right?One day you have your life figured out,the next day you are there trying to gather the pieces of your messy life.To be honest this adulting life is terrible,most of us can attest to this.From being broke,to job hunting,getting to start that business,moving out of your parents home ;Wow!!

In retrospect,people have managed to get through this tough phase alive lol not unless one decided to give up before the finishing line.
I thought of some few ways I may apply to avoid beating myself throught this adulting shenanigans.I am allowing myself to become a baby again,yes!I am bringing back the infant in me who was unbothered and undistracted.

The infant in me clinged unto my mama’s breast milk in order to grow,the well prepared food with so much nutrients was what I woke up to everyday.I was flipping through my photo album and trust me I was quite a healthy baby I must admit.

Significantly,We may choose to have that peaceful life right now if we choose to go for the right things.
For instance, the relationship between a baby and a mum may be compared to the adult you getting that small circle of genuine people who help you grow in different aspects.
The unbothered baby is the adult you starving your distractions to avoid self-sabotaging your plans and ambitions.

Remember the breast milk and food my mama fed me?Is the adult you feeding yourself with positive affirmations,knowledge by reading books ,harnessing that skill and every other thing you all do to grow.

I am a firm believer of being the best version of yourself no matter how messy life may be.I strive daily to right my wrongs since at the end of the day I’m accountable for that growth and progress I desire.

Consistency Is King.

Most girls adore their mane,especially when it’s long “I whip my hair back and forth” (Insert Willow Smith’s Voice).

Image From Jostylin

I won’t lie,the amount of effort I put into my hair is crazy ,my level of crazy though because some people really put so much extra effort compared to mine.

For the hair enthusiasts in the building,you will agree that the routine towards a healthy hair journey is somehow stressful but it becomes flexible when you figure out which routine works well for you.It still takes so much commitment no matter the routine you choose to maintain your hair.

Apparently,sometime last year I chose to neglect my hair routine ,I suddenly became lazy and less commited to my routine.The result was ofcourse shaddy,I experienced a crazy hair breakage ,my mane was weak and dry .I was so disappointed but became woke.The next time I decided to incorporate a new routine and trust me as we speak,my hair is as healthy as it should.I am happy.

My hair story is significant to the consistency we put in our daily plans,your writing,singing,dancing and any other commitment you have .The more consistent you are,the better the results .

Overtime I have learnt that Consistency is King,you just don’t wake up to being recognized out here,it’s your hardwork and dedication that will put you upfront.I admit there days one lacks the motivation but regardless you still have to commit.

There is this quote that says “If your dreams don’t scare you,there are not big enough”.Therefore,I think this itself should really remind you of how much consistent you should be.

It’s a new year and many of us have plans to better ourselves in so many ways .Normally the psyche at the beginning is usually topnotch but as time goes by,the psyche goes down.That is where the power of consistency is tested.

Regardless of what this year is going to look like,let’s try to be consistent to what we set ourselves to do.
Keep your eyes on the prize and never look back.

RESOLUTIONS

I am the journalling type ,I love doing this ;expressing myself through writing.At the beginning of each year,guess who journals down the goals? Yes Me.

A couple of guys don’t believe in making resolutions because why should they?Whereas there is this other group that is usually keen when it comes to such,both groups are just fine,I believe people have their personal reasons for doing what they do.

Making plans,setting goals is okay ,we do this all the time without really knowing what to expect at the end of it ( 2020 taught me this).That has not stopped me from making plans,I’m still setting goals but this time I’m being intentional with every goal.

Being intentional gives you a clear picture of what you want to achieve.So this 2021 I’m choosing to be intentional with every aspect of my life.

Ps;I have a full post on the importance of being intentional.Give it a read😄.

So about making resolutions this year, I will skip this part but my goal is to be better this year .I think when you aim at working on yourself,identifying the negative patterns in yourself,the toxic traits that could be detremential to your whole character and allowing yourself to evolve,every other thing will align.

By every other thing aligning,I mean the opportunities which come in different forms,the vision and purpose.I choose to put everything at heart hoping that things will work out for my good.

What’s your goal this year?😊

Image from iStock.

GRATITUDE

Youtubers have this tradition of posting daily videos during the festive season untill Christmas(Vlogmas).That is a lot of hard work and consistency that I must admit this guys put.Since bloggers lives matter,I shamelessly present you my blogmas article a week to christmas.

Generally ,this year has not been the best of years, the pandemic brought so much changes in most of our lives. Looking back to when the pandemic began and right now at this point in time ,I am so grateful.


This year have carried one lesson with me ,that despite anything you go through ,there is always something to be thankful for no matter what. So, I am here to remind you to be GRATEFUL, try counting the blessings you have received this year and you will be surprised .
This is a gratitude post to you my readers,thank you so much for keeping up with my articles.I love you all.

Image from Shutterstock.

HAPPY FESTIVITIES.