men – TEACH HIM INITIATIVE.

Let’s talk about menstruation.

And does it have to be weird?

For the longest time discussions about menstruation have been a “woman’s” problem ,I think its because the society has instilled that mentality in us or maybe not.What do you think?

Before unlearning this notion,it always felt awkward having these discussions with the opposite gender.Walking down the store to purchase a pack of pads was always petrifying especially when the seller was a man.I recall waiting for the number of customers to reduce for me to purchase my pack of pads,then going ahead to whispering my need to the seller ,dumb right?

Funny enough,this guys(sellers) had to wrap that pack with a newspaper ,infact it was A two-paged newspaper to avoid a third-party from seeing what was wrapped underneath.Who still does that in the 21st century?Anyway to cut the long story short,I think there was,and is still some discomfort when it comes to having these discussions with men compared to having them with women.This men include our fathers,brothers ,partners and male friends.

To make the menstruation discussion an easier task for each one of us, it is wise to embrace the following;

1.Embracing open conversations.

Let’s normalize having open discussions with the men on matters menstruation.This will make it easier to curb the ignorance that exists around this issue.Men have their issues as well,therefore engaging them and listening to them will lead to a smooth transition on conversations surrounding menstruation.

2.Normalizing Sex education in schools.

Though this program exists,I feel the methods used to convey messages to students is still worrying.I look forward to seeing boys and girls engaging in discussions together .We are used to having sessions where boys and girls are separated.If my memory serves me right,I think this is what happened when I was in my seventh grade.

3.Unlearning some notions.

In Nepal,menstruating women are oftened banished,they are usually isolated till the shedding is done.This still happens in some households despite the act being criminalised in 2017.Informing and educating men on issues surrounding menstruation would rout such acts in our societies.

For the few men that I have had a chance to converse with on matters menstruation,the majority of them think that them being educated on this topic will give them a better understanding of how they can help the women in their lives.

***

Let’s embrace having these discussions since listening to issues faced by both genders can be frustrating .Therefore, it is a good achievement for our society if we normalize creating more awareness of such “sacred” topics.

In Kibra giving pads to the girls courtesy of Herempowerment.

Let’s support the women,offer a helping hand if you can especially during that time of the month.Let us put a smile on these faces.

***

Sanity In The Midst Of Insanity.

Something about life is that it happens while we are busy making plans regardless of who you are.Life just happens!

Planning is of little importance ,but planning is essential-Winston Churchill,Former British Prime Minister.

Apparently the whole world is in the midst of a pandemic,i mean who saw Covid-19 coming?Me neither.Imagine being in your final month as an Undergrad?You feel me now?The pains are severe but we move on regardless.

I recently enrolled for a two weeks’ course on Professional Resillience it was great ,i honestly got so much insights when it comes to tackling uncertainities.I guess that is where this post inspo came from.

Life is hard,especially now when normalcy is a thing of the past.The thing now is to basically get new strategies of adapting to this situation at hand,and that is what Professional resillience is all about.Bouncing back in the midst of hardships ,adopting and finally adjusting.

Mental Health similar to Sexual Health is so important,being able to stay sane in the midst of insanity is an underrated sport,we all have to admit that.

I have to acknowledge myself for how i have constantly been pouring out tonnes of gratitude each and every day.Honestly it’s close to impossible to feel gratetful and depressed at the same moment.Every day above the ground is a total blessing.

Anyway,listening to people talk about life makes me happy,deep talks for me hit hard, i love.To make this post a success a few friends shared the coping mechanisms they have been using to enable them keep in check during this period.

Ps:(I was able to interview both my male and female friends)Looked at mental health care from both the male and female perspective.

Reading this might honestly be far from what you are doing to stay sane during this period,but getting insights from this beautiful stories from amazing ,strong people might excite you .

Keep scrolling down for this amazing stories from amazing people.

1.FINDING A NEW LOVE

**Jessy Awinja – Student, Enterpreneur**

Honestly,this era of Covid -19 has not been a walk in the park.I recall how anxious i was in the beginning of all this but i am grateful that in the midst of all this uncertainities i was able to find my new love and that is Crotcheting.This has really kept me in check,doing what i love makes me so happy.I am currently speaking 3 languages;Yarn,hooks and needles.

Ps:(Jessy is doing an amazing work ,You can check her beautiful hand-made outfits from her Insta page-@awinja.)

2.LET’S DESIGN OUR LIVES.

Staying sane for me during this period has been easened by alot of things.First,since our new normal has shifted to almost everything going virtual,i make efforts of attending youth summits and conferences.Being a Youth Empowerement Advocate,i do not let such opportunities pass by.

Being a graphic designer has also enabled me to tap into so much creativity during this period.As it is said;Good art inspires,Good design motivates .

3.LET’S BE PHILOMATHS

Where do i even begin,staying sane during this period has pushed me to go beyond my comfort zone and seek more knowledge .For now i am really enrolling to those online courses, working on my School project as well as reading books.

I recently started a Lampshade Business that i am so proud of.Finally seeking God is key for me at all times.

4.BE POSITIVE

Well to be honest this pandemic is still far from over but we gotta face up and hope for brighter days ahead.

Now back to the activities that I do during this period.I have to admit it hasn’t been easy on me but it has brought some blessings in disguise because I got a job that is keeping me going.I make efforts to connect with loved ones and that too keeps me in check.Not forgetting my love for movies,i get to watch abit of them during my free time.

5.WORK HARD,PLAY HARD

It’s actually a tough time but we all need to stay sane and keep healthy.I try so hard to avoid thoughts that will stress my mind.All I do is let things flow, pray,work a little hard to cater for those needs we all have.Connecting with loved ones has also played a major role in maintaining my sanity.

Ps:Rhoda runs an online clothing page on Insta @affo.rdable wears.Check her page for affordable outfits

6.BE A LIFE-LONG STUDENT.

**Kevin Ngetich-Student,Graphic designer,photographer**

I love to free my mind especially during stressful times.Covid-19 has not been an exception either, since i have really put efforts towards keeping my sanity in such a time .Learning new skills has been key for me.The urge to constantly learn is honestly keeping me in check.

***

I loved how each and everyone was really specific with the efforts they are putting to stay sane during this period.I love listening to the Nitty Grittys you know.Men are weirdly less great at really prioritizing mental health but i am glad they are making efforts .Let us engage on the comment section as you share the habits you have developed in order to stay sane during this period.Peace of Mind matters!

♢♢♢♢

OH ,Toxic Masculinity.

Man up!Boys will be boys!Don’t cry! Do this words sound familiar to you?Oh yes they do ,this are words that are used almost daily by different individuals therefore they have to be familiar.In the recent past my country people brought up this slang term “gangster points”.You see most times this term is used,its often times when a man does something that is considered being against the exaggerated expectations of men.Okay let me make it more clear ;a man would cry and guess what they will say “Hey man , you are lowering your gangster points.I may have exagerrated abit of it but yes that’s my point of view you all.

After taking so much time weighing this two terms i actually came to an agreement that “gangster points” and “toxic masculinity” for some reasons relate therefore not making this discussion funny anymore.

On a serious note though,Toxic masculinity is a term that has been in existence,but it’s recently getting a modern touch.This term stems from the 1980’s by a movement known as Mythopoetic Men’s Movement that was founded by men for men to contrast some notions on masculinity that were in existence before and overtime were not compatible with the modern definition of Masculinity.

So many definitions of toxic masculinity exist but my idea of it evolves around the following factors;

Surpression of emotions
Lack of empathy
Self-Sufficiency
Sense of entitlement
Dormination
Virility
Ignorance on topics sorrounding Sexual and Mental Health.

I find myself talking about this phase of masculinity now because of the increasing cases of incidents that have occured in most part of the world.Cases such as Sexual assault,domestic violence,psychological trauma,substance abuse ,just but to name a few are some of the triggers that pinned me down to write this post.Most of this cases are being perpetrated by the men thus making it obvious that toxic masculinity still exists in this present times.

I happened to link some theories that indicate that toxic masculinity plays a role in Sexual health which leads further to preventing some men from seeking out help for possible health issues as a result of unsafe sexual behaviours.For some,asking for help,seeking medical attention on cases such as Sexually Transmitted Diseases leads to feelings of weakness or inadequacy.Some men have this notion of them not being vulnerable to illnesses,this is crazy. This should not be the case,since in my opinion i feel such matters should be normalized and no one should feel inadequate or weak during such moments.

What defines masculinity in one society maybe be rejected by a different society this is because the definition of this term may take different forms.Masculinity itself is not toxic but the idea of men to live to some exaggerated expectations to potray some percieved male traits is considered toxic.

The fact that masculinity is not something the society can instill in a person or take away from a person makes it an individual responsibility to define their own identity.It would be great if each and everyone aspires to find a healthy definition of their own individuality and puts effort in achieving it.

The world will be a better place if men decide to shift the term “toxic ” to “healthy” and this solely encompasses men being more open to share their emotions without surpressing them,them being more cooperative when it comes to making effort of properly seeking help in mental and sexual health.

Conforming to the society’s expectations of them acting some type of way that is detremental to their mental and sexual health ,will bring more harm than good.Empowering men and allowing them to express full range of emotions is one step to achieving healthy masculinity.

“By far the worst thing we do to males- by making them feel they have to be hard -Is that we leave them with very fragile egos”- Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie

Take Naps But Stay Woke

My idea on being woke resonates on the urge of constantly being aware. Honestly that is the definition most of us relate with.My curiousity did not allow me to settle on that percieved definition at first,it pushed me to utilize my search engines to get more insights on what this term woke really meant.Being curious is helpful at times,this is because the urge to explore and seek novelty helps us remain vigilant and gain knowledge.

Anyway i happened to learn the definition of Woke (/ˈwoʊk/), as a political term of African American origin, refers to a perceived awareness of issues concerning social justice and racial justice.

Sexual health is a social justice issue ,certainly we are on the right track .It is evident that existing in this era comes with many contradicting lessons to be unlearnt,some theories on sexual health being among them.

There is a notion that has existed overtime about sexual health not being a discussion that needs serious attention, but am excited that in this era and time sexual health is gaining so much engagement from the society.

Is it just me who thinks women are more woke on sexual health matters compared to the men ?or rather are more interested on this topic.I get to read alot of content on sexual health and trust me i feel the men are left out on this.Programs that have been set to engage men in sexual health are few, this raises an alarm especially since i am abit gender-sensitive.

During this period i got to randomly interact with a couple of friends and shared my thoughts with them.Some got to an extent of being personal as a result of some triggering responses i was getting,(no hard feelings though).Through this i got to learn that most guys have a fixed mindset on what sexual health is ;for most of them sexual health involves sexual diseases and thats it period!!😂That is funny because In this era of advanced technology our answers seem to be one Google away and one still gets to say that?

Hey, am no sexual health expert but i’m always open to learning ,So what is Sexual Health really?According to WHO working definition Sexual health is “a state of physical,emotional,mental and social well-being in relation to sexuality,it is not merely the absence of disease ,dsyfunction or infirmity .Sexual health requires a positive and respectful approach to sexuality and relationships ,as well as the possibility of having pleasurable safe sexual experience ,free of coercion ,discrimination and violence.”

The whole idea is to educate the men,but then not all men are less woke on this issues ,the target is to involve the men who are less knowledgable,the “brusque” men,not forgetting the less interested men on matters sexual health.The aim is to engage ,enlighten and to educate the men on sexual health .

Communication is an incentive to change and the more we encourage and drive men to openly engage in sexual health ,the easier it will be to get them onboard with wrecking the societal stigma around it.